A little bit of Narcism

For those that know me, I have been going through a very tough time.  In fact, as I have been reminded by my good friend, it has been going on for a pretty good while now.  At one point in my life I have convinced myself that I can't live without my wife by my side.  I guess its because we worked as one unit all the time and I missed her so much.

I also went through a time where I blamed myself for her actions and that put me in a bad place in my life.  Major depression incurred and I went into seclusion.  I was reminded by my dear friend that I should take responsibility for my part in the failure of my marriage.  In fact, I was told that it was my fault as well.  Although I didn't see the fault, I accepted it as a part of the situation and began to move on.

Right now, I am at a totally different place.  Where I once felt like the loser, I realize that she is the one that loses.  I was a GREAT husband , father and best friend.  I spoiled her to the point of displacement.  She never had a need for anything and when things went wrong, at least in her eyes, the first time, I accepted her back. 

I was made to feel like I was ugly, had a bad personality and that it was wrong to be a BIG man.  All the while I accepted her for ALL her flaws because I thought they were cute.  She gained weight and it was fine.  She would lose her job and it was fine.  All these bad things kept happening to her and in the end I would get her out of them because it was my job as her husband.

I want to say that although I am a better person for my actions, I am still, and have always been, a catch!  I know I'm good looking, funny and responsible.  I am the best dad I can be and I respect myself and others at all times.  I may be a little bit difficult at times but in the end my heart gives in and I turn out to be a teddy bear.  I can dance, play the piano and have been known to write a poem or two.  In fact, I am a published poet!  (Editors choice Award 1998).  I am an artist, (nude sketching is my specialty) and can make a woman float with my massages.  I am happy to give pleasure to others before myself and I do it with a smile.

I am writing all this for two reasons. 1. To make me feel better about myself. (I guess to continue convincing myself that I am good) 2. To point out my qualities and to say that ANY woman would be proud to have me as a friend/partner.  The benefits are endless with me as a friend.  One more thing I forgot.  I love to hear and advise.  I've become pretty good at it.

Okay, now to get the ribbings from my closest friends who can rib me!!!  I'm ready!  Thanks for listening!