Well, I am going to try, every once in a while to check in. It's hard for me because I usually have something important to say. At least, important enough for me. Well, after many months of therapy, I've been feeling better. Little by little I am learning to "Let it go".
It's not forgiveness mind you but rather a state of mind where I don't mind anymore. I have to learn that even though I am following the golden rule, I can't control other peoples actions or feelings. God has a plan for me and I believe he has put it in motion.
I blame facebook for my situation but it turns out that facebook will correct the problem. I have met many wonderful new friends on facebook and at a minimum I'm having a good time with them. Nothing major or even minor for that matter in regards to a relationship, but at least I am me.
I've changed my attitude to where I don't care about how others feel about me or if I say something that will hurt their feelings. I have to say what I want to say and that's that. If I hurt your feelings, well, too fucking bad. If you are truly my friend, you will understand that I really don't mean anything I say anyway.
On that subject, I truly believe that a TRUE friend will argue with you and fight with you but will always love you unconditionally. I have a friend who I've noticed that I've gotten soooo mad that she has to hang up on the conversation before she curses me out. We all have opinions and if yours is not like mine, well, let's "Agree to Disagree". That helps all the time.
We cannot dwell on the past because that's when the mud from the past clings to our shoes preventing us to take a step forward. To my old friends, whom I love very much and value our friendships, thank you for being there thru all my bullshit.
To my new friends, prepare, but remember, I will be there for you as much as you are there for me. To my new "Friends", I would like to get to know you better. you know who you are! Anyway, this is my entry for today. I am writing again so I must go, The play will be done soon! Love ya!
Ken
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