Just for fun!

I wrote this song to the theme of "I will Survive"  Hope you enjoy.

At first when we got married
She was by my side
Life was perfect
and we had nothing to hide
Then as time passed by
we fell into a rut
She started looking for diversions
and she messed it all up!

And there she went
right out the door
she followed the same pattern
that she'd done before
She forgot about holding hands
and how beautiful she was
She never looked back
So I looked for God above!

And he told me, You will survive
As long as HE is by my side, I know I'll be alright
For I have been blessed with unconditional love
For God and my Angels watch me from up above!
I will survive!!!

Thank You

An insight on how I've been feeling lately.

I've got to be honest with you.  I've been thinking a lot about the past and my present situation.  It's very difficult not to go a day without thinking of that one person.  Anyway, How I've been feeling and how I've been thinking are two separate things.  I've been feeling like something major is coming my way and it's a good thing.

Honestly, whatever good that comes to me will be a blessing.  I think I have earned anything good.  It's just trying to get the negative energy out of my life and the positive energy in.

The problem is that whenever I'm doing well, something happens to rewind my situation.  How does one remove 16 years of a relationship from their minds?  That's a good question.  I've just realize that I will be alone for Christmas.  I'm actually looking forward to it.

It will give me another reason to set my goals up and follow through next year.  I haven't reached my preset goals yet but I will make it even if it kills me!  I'm telling you that I have woken up the other day with the highest of praises for my God the Father!!!
I love him so and HE will guide me through and fight this battle that I think I have been losing.  At least, emotionally.  I'm physically drained but life goes on.

I'm finding that everyone is taken on there own little cliques and because I was part of my own clique, when it broke up I wasn't allowed to enter others.  I understand that I'm just an acquaintance to most people.  I don't get offended.  Most people were just acquaintances to me too!  No worries though, I'll be part of some clique again some day, at least for now I have my children and God.

It sucks to be loved and appreciated then it taken away.  It should be a decision made by two but life wouldn't allow that.  I don't want to go there.  For those reading this, I want to thank you in taking a minute to read how I am and I want to wish you a glorious Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

BTW:  It's NOT a pity party, just a way to vent!  Love ya!!!

a simple prayer

I have been feeling a little down lately.  I think its the time of year.  I, however, have decided to thank God for all that I do have.  I have two great kids, A place to live and plenty of facebook friends.  I would rather have plenty of real friends but I reserve that right to a certain few.

You guys know who you are.  LOL  Anyway, i want  to make this short and sweet.  So,
Merry CHRISTmas and happy new year to all that read this and all that don't.

Prayer from me to you.

Heavenly Father, Almighty God, during this wonderful time of celebration of your son, Jesus Christ, I ask and pray that you give everyone the gift of love.  For you have loved us so that you have given us the gift of your son and our salvation.  May you grant us all, peace and happiness and allow those that need to receive.  In his Almighty name I ask.  AMEN.

A bald Disney Princess

It was about 2:45 in the morning and I had gotten up to use the restroom.  Anyway, for some reason I decided to pay all of my bills in one shot.  The time was right, it was quiet and I did it in less than 15 minutes.  I decided to go on facebook.

A friend of mine posted that Disney should make a Princess without hair so that little girls suffering and fighting cancer can feel that they too are beautiful.  it almost brought a tear to my eye.  It touched me profoundly and I don't know why.

Anyway, I wrote Disney a letter suggesting the idea and posted that letter on FB.  I've gotten a few responses from other friends on FB.  I must say that I would be sooo impressed if Disney actually did that.  Maybe, a Prince and Princess, undercover in a hospital to deal with cancer can meet. 

Maybe they hate each other in the beginning.  A conceited Prince and a very beautiful but unhappy Princess try to make the best of there situation.  I think I see a story there.  Don't know if it would be an action packed 3D Cartoon but something is something,

I think that even, maybe, I would take a jab at writing something like that.  It would interest me a lot as to how I would develop the characters.  The children going through this horrible situation should be represented by some major character.

A Disney Princess would be the perfect icon.  The idea needs to be presented to children that haven't been convinced that beauty is everything.  With the exceptions of those mothers who are living the pageant life vicariously through their daughters, the target market should be absolutely perfect.

I never question God's plan.  I just believe that he has a special place for children and maybe our ideas can motivate Disney to do what's right.  thanks.

"House" Review

I always said that I was going to, not only talk about my life, but other stuff as well.  Today, I want to talk about the TV series "House".  The beginning was very interesting.  Starting out doing time made me look at the character in a different light.  I'm glad he knew how to take care of himself.

The removal of the character, Lisa Cuddy was uncalled for.  There is a rumor that the producers of the show asked her to take a pay cut.  She refused so they dropped her from the roster, so to speak.  I wouldn't take a pay cut either since her character was a vital love interest in the series. 

I think they just got them together too soon when they should have held on to the last season of house so that they can end up together then.  Also, what good was doing time?  He still is addicted to pain killers.  They brought in the little Filipino Girl and that new hot Doctor from the jail.

Her I get but the munchkin?  I think they are training her to be like house but without the attitude.  And already, House is using her for all his bidding.  He just tricked the newbie to pay for his car repair.  I don't know how much more interesting can the show be?

I'm also very tired of the Foreman character.  First of all, he walks like he has House's cane up his ass while still having a hanger in his jacket.  I don't like the actor "Epps" and I don't like the way he portrays the character.  They should have gotten rid of him instead of Cuddy.

I'm thinking this will be the last season unless much more interesting characters come in and challenge House.  He's a dick but I think he needs to be humbled more.  He needs to suffer and empathize with people as well as learn from his friends.  It should go out with a bang!!

Feeling Better

Well, I am going to try, every once in a while to check in.  It's hard for me because I usually have something important to say.  At least, important enough for me.  Well, after many months of therapy, I've been feeling better.  Little by little I am learning to "Let it go".

It's not forgiveness mind you but rather a state of mind where I don't mind anymore.  I have to learn that even though I am following the golden rule, I can't control other peoples actions or feelings.  God has a plan for me and I believe he has put it in motion.

I blame facebook for my situation but it turns out that facebook will correct the problem.  I have met many wonderful new friends on facebook and at a minimum I'm having a good time with them.  Nothing major or even minor for that matter in regards to a relationship, but at least I am me. 

I've changed my attitude to where I don't care about how others feel about me or if I say something that will hurt their feelings.  I have to say what I want to say and that's that.  If I hurt your feelings, well, too fucking bad.  If you are truly my friend, you will understand that I really don't mean anything I say anyway.

On that subject, I truly believe that a TRUE friend will argue with you and fight with you but will always love you unconditionally.  I have a friend who I've noticed that I've gotten soooo mad that she has to hang up on the conversation before she curses me out.  We all have opinions and if yours is not like mine, well, let's "Agree to Disagree".  That helps all the time.

We cannot dwell on the past because that's when the mud from the past clings to our shoes preventing us to take a step forward.  To my old friends, whom I love very much and value our friendships, thank you for being there thru all my bullshit.

To my new friends, prepare, but remember, I will be there for you as much as you are there for me.  To my new "Friends", I would like to get to know you better.  you know who you are!  Anyway, this is my entry for today.  I am writing again so I must go, The play will be done soon!  Love ya! 

Ken

McDonald's again?

Well, it's been a while since I posted but I think it is time once again.  So, I drop off my daughter at her school in a cab and decide to go get McDonald's for breakfast.  I like their breakfast.  The moment I walked in I realized that it was going to be a while because there was a long line at the counter.

As I was waiting my turn, a young white woman walked up to the counter and asked if she can use the bathroom.  It was obvious that she was on her way to work but had to stop for a second.  As she approached the counter, she just happened to catch the manager at the register. 

She wasn't a vagabond or a homeless person.  She asked the manager if she can use the bathroom and the manager seemed to ignore her.  Finally the manager said that she could not use the bathroom unless she purchased something.  The young lady began to explain that she is a neighbor and that she purchases a lot from there but that she had to use the bathroom. 

The manager still said no.  When asked if she was the manager, the Manager didn't respond.  She knew where it was going.  Finally, after multiple attempts to find what the managers name was, the manager looked at her and said, "Theresa".  The young lady said "Thank You, have a nice day!"  She walked out.

After all this happened, it was finally my turn at the counter.  I had a feeling something wrong was going to happen so I prepared myself mentally for it.  A young Spanish girl, who seemed to be a lesbian with a chip on her shoulder, took my order.  Personally, I don't care what you are, just treat me with the same respect that I am treating you with.

Anyway, I approach the counter, make my order, pay the order and move away from the counter as to not say or stir up any reason for them to get nasty with me.  She then takes the next order and fills it before mine.  I let that go because there was still a little tension in the air.

She began packaging my order and I watch carefully.  As she was doing it, she was conversing with the manager about the whole situation.  In my experience with McDonald's employees, if they don't concentrate on the order at hand, the fuck it up.  Always happens.

On the other side of the counter, I waited and she gave me my order.  i asked her if she can "double-check" my order so that I don't have to come back.  She looked at me with contempt, grabbed the bag within the bag, pulled it out and briefly looked in.  I asked is there a problem with double-checking?  She said that she already had read the order to me.

I said I know that but you read it over there on the other side of the counter before you packaged it.  Again, Is there a problem in double-checking the order?  She said that it wasn't her job to double-check that it was mine.  I stepped back, looked at her then looked at the manager who was standing right next to us the whole time this was going on.

I wanted to get into this discussion, on a very professional level, but the counter person cut the conversation short and walked away from me.  I turned to the manager again and looked at her as if to say "And you're not going to do anything?".  She just smiled.  I walked out.

This is the McDonald's on 6th street and first avenue.  I've had problems with the one on 14th st and first and the one on Madison st.  I've gotten people fired for bullshit like this.  This time was no exception.  i called the appropriate people and lets just say that it won't be happening again and I'm getting free sandwiches and desserts to boot.

I hope you enjoyed the story.  You're more than welcome to say anything you want!  LOL  Fun times I swear!   Love ya!