"Is there any way a person can get out of the "Buddy", "Amigo" or "Friend" Zone?"

Sometimes I have to laugh.  I posted a question on facebook yesterday and the reactions were informative.  The question was: "Is there any way a person can get out of the "Buddy", "Amigo" or "Friend" Zone?"  Many responses and the reality is that the question was not for me.

I mean, I asked that question for two reasons, 1. I wanted to get a good conversation going. ( It's been a while!) 2. A friend asked me and I didn't have the answer for him.  I had to pose the question as if it were mine because if he did it, the girl would know.

For some reason, I like doing these things for my friends.  Even though I probably put myself in situations with others, I often find myself having to explain.  Like I'm doing now.  The responses were great but it didn't help him.  He lost her as a friend because he is too embarrassed to be around her.

What's worse is that I believe someone misconstrued OUR friendship because she probably read the question and thought it was her.  I hope that was not the case but nevertheless, I have to make sure she knows it wasn't her.

Most people that know me, know that I am now getting used to being alone.  I am enjoying it immensely.  I am now definitely sure that I am not ready for a relationship.  Many of my friends agree to that even tho I am separated for the last 2 1/2 years.

The truth of the matter is that I am lacking in "Physical" communications (Wink Wink!) but other than that, I'm great!  With the help of a few of my close friends, I've been able to take back what my ex-wife took from me.  My self-esteem and I'm happier for it.

I'm ready to move on with my play by making it first to a indie film and I am still raising my kids which, coincidentally, would probably be a factor in me dating someone.  You know, "baggage" and all.  Admittedly, there are a few facebook friends that I would like to get to know a little better but I know it would be harder to work out.

I keep it simple and usually wait for the woman to flirt or make her move therefore giving me the option of "yes" or "no".  It may sound a little vain but when it comes to rejection, I can get depressed and I've had it being in that state of mind.  I'm done with that.

To those that read my blog.  I appreciate you reading it and getting to know me more than the others that don't read it.  I enjoy writing it when I can and I will continue to do so.  I want to finish by saying that, usually, my private life is just that "Private".  I hope when "It" finally happens  I will be able to keep it between the woman and myself.

LOL.....Any takers?  

x

Just stirring up the minds! (Freedom of Speech)

Today, I would like to discuss freedom of speech.  But I would like to discuss both sides.  It would be hypocritical to defend this right, for example, if you have a problem with anyone making racists remarks.

I honestly believe that our forefathers, as ignorant as some of them were, were on the right track in allowing of free citizen to say whatever he wants to say without persecution.  Unfortunately, they would have never been able to predict how our speech patterns affect our lives today.

Back then, it was okay to use the words "Nigger" or "Unclean" when describing a person of color/slave.  They didn't consider the slaves anywhere near human to think of them as equals.  The utmost in ignorance a human being can be.

To me, people are human.  That is the race I see.  "If you cut us, do we not bleed?"  Our founding fathers and subsequently, their immediate ancestors attempted to continue their ignorance for years to come after the constitution was signed.  

Fortunately, to that end, we were blessed with a President with enough foresight  and compassion to recognize the true spirit of the preamble, "That all men are created equal". He was the major part of freeing the slaves and stepping us forward into a slave free society.

This brings me to today's society.  As disgusting as this may sound, shouldn't you be able to say whatever you want in this country?  Is it illegal, for example, to say in basic conversation, something like "Black people should know their place in this country"?  Should it matter if it was said deep in redneck "Bama" country or in the state of Maine?

Doesn't the constitution grant us the "Unconditional" right to that freedom?  To say whatever the hell we want?  Since the construction of that right, there have been many amendments added to it.  (I'm assuming now.)  Our freedom of speech doesn't grant the right to yell "FIRE!" in a crowded movie theater.

Nor does it allow to place anyone's life in danger because of the words used.  Placing restrictions on our speech, to me, nullifies that freedom and we are no longer free to say what we want.  I personally enjoy this freedom.  For if it didn't exist, I wouldn't have been able to even write this blog.

"Hate" crimes are my biggest argument.  When a "White" person beats someone while using prejudiced remarks, when caught, he goes to jail charged with a hate crime in which his penalties are about 10X worse then what they would be had he kept his mouth shut.

Please answer me this question because I truly don't know the answer.  Does it go down as a "hate" crime if the roles were reversed and you hear "Honky or cracker" as they beat a white man down?  I hate to ask but doesn't EVERYBODY have the right to say what they want even if they are in a heated debate or fight?

Throughout this whole blog, I've been laughing because even though it's all truly stupid, it's funny to me because it's true.  i love playing devils advocate and placing minds to work.  I've come to the conclusion that EVERYBODY is a racist, one way or another.  

You can have opinions against, Races, classes, genders, fashion statements and even intelligence.  It's all about ignorance, how we think and what we are allowed to say.  I remember being called a spic when I was younger.  It was when I lived in Massachusetts for a spell and I was one of five different races in a junior high school.

I hated it but I ate it.  What got me more upset was that a girl made fun of my NY accent in class.  i just wanted to punch her at her throat.  (This was all before I went to Seward and learned to protect myself with words!)  According to our forefathers, It was legal to be called a Spic and that girl had every right to make fun of me.  

I'm just saying that no one can actually say they are "Free" in this country or anywhere else for that matter.  God bless you all and thanks for reading!  Remember, just my opinion.  If you don't like what I said, don't read it anymore.  1st amendment!!!!  LOL 

 

Lead by example, PLEASE!

This post will be a little different than all the others.  This post will definitely offend most people but as usual I don't care.  As usual I have taken on my new philosophy that I will do and say what I want because I can.  And, I feel good about it.

I read a post the other day about how women, being mothers, post really sexy and dirty pictures of themselves on facebook.  The comment was chastising these women because the children can see these photos and think its okay.  I totally agree with the comment.

If you are a parent, you must lead by example.  They think of themselves before thinking of their children.  Would you want your daughters disrespected in the streets or on some social network because they post half nude pictures of themselves?

What kind of person does that?  I have to say that it works both ways too.  As I was coming home, I saw a young couple walking with a baby stroller.  They had to be about 15-16 years old.  The father walking next to, what I am going to assume was the baby's mama, look like he was pure street.

That didn't bother me.  I felt so bad for the child when I saw him sagging to the back of his knees!  What kind of example are you going to show your son or daughter?  All that is over when you become a parent.  The chain has to stop at one point or another!

You're going to teach your children tradition that was born in the hollow halls of jails?  Why would you do that? I understand that young people today have to find their own identities but why not find a positive, respectful one? How you perceive yourself is exactly how people see you.

I'm not going to lie.  I had my own fads in high school.  Some of them included straight legs, Adidas lace in checkerboard, kangos, on and on but the moment my son was born, I gave it all up and I started living for me.  I must say I was 29 when he was born but that didn't change a thing.

I thanked God for him and changed my whole outlook on life.  My son was and will be a reflection of me.  He is now, at 16, respectful of others and himself.  He doesn't do drugs or drinks and all because I changed my lifestyle.

It's not just my son, I have nephews and nieces that I need them to see that I am a great uncle.  They love me and come to me for advise and jokes and time with them.  I'm happy I am able to provide that for them.

Finally, and I think this will be the big one, there is a difference between casual drinking and just being obnoxious about the whole thing.  I know people that hang out to the point of not remembering the night before.  These are probably the same people that question their teenagers when they get home an hour late smelling like beer or herb.

Again, the children are products of the parents.  Going out, every freaking weekend, to drink and act like fools, in my opinion, isn't cool.  You guys give the term alcoholic a new name!  You come up with ANY reason to go hang out!  I'm just saying, you guys are old enough to know better.

I'm not saying that I am better than you.  I've done my mis-deeds plenty of times.  That is one of the reasons why I have no sense of smell!  I'm just saying, at what point in your life do you look in the mirror and say to yourself, "That's enough!"

Drinking doesn't get rid of your problems, it just delays them.  Yes, you get a buzz or an outright high but, the reality is, it doesn't last long.  For me to survive on a daily basis, I have to take 13 pills a day.  I'm not proud of it but it all stemmed from what I used to do.

I think that I've written all these words because I truly love and care about some of you and I want you to be happy in your life.  A life that your kids can be proud of.  A safe and healthy life that can be extended for a long time.

"Thirsty Thursdays, Fallout Friday's, Stunk drunk Saturdays" Whatever you want to call them, it all boils down to the same thing.  Talk about a rut! It's truly sad to hear that a friend has passed away because they had cirrhosis of the liver or because they got into an accident while intoxicated.

I lost a good friend because he got drunk and broke his neck.  He was a para for years until it was time.  If he were here today, he would be cursing everybody out! He was just that type of guy. He would be shaking his head at all the idiots out there.

I say this because I care.  You can take this advise and throw it out like an old newspaper or you can learn from other peoples mistakes. As far as the young people, understand that EVERYBODY gets old, oh and don't get upset when the cops profile you and harass you simply because you are sagging or dealing or drinking a beer.

That's just part of life, right?  You and your bad self!  Remember, this is just one man's opinion.  I'm sure that many agree with me and many don't. I really don't care, it's just something I'd thought I had to say.  Have a great one!

Energies

Every once in a while, I get deep in thought and conversation and I want to talk about things that are not to be talked about.  Such as religion, politics and so forth.  Today I want to talk about how I feel about spirituality.

It is important that those that read this understand that it is my opinion and it doesn't reflect on anything or anybody in the subject matter.

When asked about my religion I find it hard to answer.  There is no name for what I believe in.  I've probably spoken about this before but I want to make certain that it is said.  Maybe, others can understand their confusion when they read what I have to say.

To me, spirituality is all about energies.  The energies we put out in the world, the energies that come back to us and the energies that are already out there. Everybody feels them and rely on them.  Faith and hope are energies.  Positive ones.  Love and Loyalty are also positive energies.

Believe it or not, every religion has these energies and they are identified with certain names but they are still the same.  In the Christian beliefs, the great energies are God and the Almighty Father Jesus Christ.  Let's not forget the Holy Spirit which in itself is obviously an energy.

When we pray, we call upon these energies to come down and protect us, find love for us, keep us moving.  For something that is asked, the energy is there.  The truer you feel about it, the more possible will be the results.

We have negative energies as well.  Some call them the "Enemy", the devil or evil spirits.  It has to be named to determine the differences when they appear.  Lust, Envy, Jealousy, the list goes on and on.

Some people can manipulate these negative energies with their minds just by thinking bad about someone.  I've seen it happen.  I've said, "I hope she falls on her face", out of anger and right in front of me, the woman fell and hurt herself.  i was happy at the time it happened but then I felt bad.

Thoughts like that can be transmitted and they work.  You have to believe. I've noticed that persons looking for help from God, have changed the way they think and are.

Having done that, their lives have dramatically changed.  They see a future and feel that God has stepped in and helped them.  It's wonderful when someone connects with themselves and their God.  Whomever it may be.

The other day, I was reading that a Facebook friend posted that he is an Atheist.  The post stated that he didn't want to answer any questions as to why he is one and yet, if you kept reading, he explains the reasons he is one.  I find that a little hypocritical. If you want to make a statement like that, more power to you but, just like you don't want to hear that I believe in God, I don't want to hear that you don't.

There are boundaries that need to be respected and I hope that by me saying so, they will be.  If you are deep into your religion, God Bless you.  If you are a lapsed ANYTHING, God bless you. Just understand that being human in itself means that there is energy within you.

As you live your life, you learn that Karma does exist and that it's inevitable.  We all know that Karma is the energy you put out that will ABSOLUTELY come back to you 7 fold.  If you do good, you will be good.  If you do bad, you will get whats coming to you.

The Christians have it from the bible, "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord!" The Buddhist believe in Karma, either in this life or the next.  Again, It's all about energy.  When I pray, I pray to God the Father.  Sometimes I say the prayer that was taught to me and other times I just speak to him.

I thank him for all that he has given me.  I ask him to continue to protect and keep safe my children. I also ask him to bring joy to them because they have suffered enough.  In asking this, I have changed my attitude and that has helped me a long way too.

I have removed/limited those friends that ALWAYS bring negativity to every situation. Those that prefer to TRY to run your life instead of dealing with their own problems.  Those that tell you to drink and be merry when you don't drink or smoke. those that put you down and believe that they are better than you.  I worry about people like that.

Keeping them at a distance makes me know who my friends really are.  The positive energy known as the Holy Spirit has guided me to where I am today.  So in conclusion, Be careful of your true intentions for when they are let out, they may affect you in ways that you weren't expecting.

I send great positive energy to those that read this.  No offense but "God Bless all".

I am so tired of people telling me what to do!  C'mon people, live your own life and leave me alone. I mean, don't you have better things to do than to live the life of another?  My family has yelled at me.  my friends have yelled at me.

If there is ONE person out there that has a perfect life, even they don't have the right to tell me what to do.  it's like I'm in high school again and I have to be careful what I say or do or others will be offended by my words/actions.

Get over yourself!

"Judge not less thee be judged"

I've been reading a lot of signs on facebook.  Most of them are about how one should judge themselves first before judging other people.  Or like the bible says, "Judge not less thee be judged." It's a very interesting quote and what what it more interesting, to me at least, is that I don't think that anyone can go thru life not judging.

I mean, really think about it.  you go to the bodega and you see the guy behind the counter.  He has a serious face so you know that he is not one to talk to and joke around with.  Your judging him has made you come to that conclusion.

You see a woman walking in the street and she has her make-up all wrong for her face, if you are a woman you think what an idiot, she don't know how to fix herself up.  If you are a man, you might think that she looks like a whore.  Either way, judgement is being brought upon her.

I think that people are naturally judgmental and the outcome solely is determined by the way that individual was raised.  What one person may think is right, the other will think it's wrong.  I judge people naturally.  I try to look for the good positive outlooks in a person and focus on their inner beauty but sometimes, I see something that I just don't like and I judge on it.

It provides me with a guide on how to live my life.  On how to know which people I want to associate myself with and which people are just bad for me.  THAT'S mission impossible.  To go thru life not judging people.

I noticed this the other day.  Even tho it is very hard to admit it, the racists and other bullies have every right to speak their minds.  We don't have to like it but we judge them for their opinions.  It's the ignorance that has been forced into them by someone important in their lives and it becomes their guides.

It's unfortunate that a gay basher has the right to make fun or poke at the gay community just like an African American has the right to poke at Whitey.  These are all judgments one makes but at what point does it matter to stop?

As I watch the shows cops or bait car, I see that young African American men and boys are the ones that are doing the crime.  Should I overlook that they are black and give them the benefit of the doubt? Should I put aside that 98% of them are sagging and that's another reason they probably get profiled?

They get caught and complain that they have been profiled.  Hello?  Is anyone home?  You fit the profile and did the crime, what more do you want?  It's just another way of being judged. It's all very simple.

You cannot live in this world without be judgmental.  It's just the way of life.  Some use it as a defense mechanism, others use it as a deterrent to focus on others and not them and some use it as a guide for life.  So, even tho I agree with the bible, "Judge not less thee be judged" theory, there is no other alternative than to do it naturally.  God Bless All.

I am THAT man......

I am THAT man......

     The man that you take 2 to 3 hours getting ready for your date.  The man that you want to impress with or with out make-up with all your heart.

I am THAT man......

     The man that without any reservation, will respect you always, whether it be in the morning or not. The man the will never abuse of what you have.

I am THAT man.....

     The man that will shower you with unnecessary compliments for you know he loves you.  The man that will let you know everything will be alright.

I am THAT man.....

     The man that after two weeks you want to introduce to your parents/children.

I am That man.....

     The man that will never judge you and once you have attained my heart, will never let you go.

I am THAT man.....

     The man that his face lights up like the sun when he speaks of you whether you are around him or not.

I am THAT man.....

     The man that would rather get cut through his heart than to lie to you and cause you ANY kind of pain.

I am THAT man.....

     The man that at the end of it all, you will stand proud to have known and loved.   


For those that know me, know this to be true.  I will now and forever be.....

                                                                        THAT MAN.