If you love me, share this!

In Peter Griffin's (Family Guy) Voice: You know what really grinds my gears?......
lol  Anyway, i needed to right to people to see if they feel the same way about this situation.

I've seen comments being posted on facebook that try to make you feel guilty if you don't share or like a picture or comment.  things like: "If you love Jesus, pass it on" or "If you love your family pass it or you don't love you're family.

Who the hell are you to say who I love or don't love?! I mean, I love Jesus in my way, does it mean that I have to be guilt-ed into passing on a picture of him?  What if i don't like the picture?  Does it mean I don't love him or love him less?

I understand this social network was made for keeping in touch but sometimes I feel it is used for religious agendas.  In my opinion, I try to keep it like other topics I often see in Facebook.  "If I don't push my religious beliefs on you, please don't push yours on me!"

I'm not asking for much.  It sounds to me like the golden rule.  The problem is that when i delete them, then i am wrong for breaking up a friendship.  I don't mind it wouldn't be the first time i broke up a friendship.

People, we are all human and no one is better than the other.  Even tho there are a few out there that swear their shit don't stink!  If you see a comment and you agree with it do what you want to do.  if you don't agree with it, don't do what it's telling you to do!  You have your own beliefs so that should be your guideline.

I'm angry at the practice because I know that some of you will forward it but be uncomfortable in doing it.  i don't share or forward any religious postings because i know that whether I do it or not, Jesus loves me and he takes care of me and my family.

I don't also do it because I wouldn't like it done to me so I won't do it forward.  So, if I delete your friendship, don't take it personally.  We just don't agree on things.  Positive in, Negative out.

Living in the “House of Un-trust”

Case Study #2

Living in the “House of Un-trust”

It’s Unfortunate when someone feels that the people around them have failed them in one way or another and it leads them to believe that no matter what they do to redeem themselves, it’s just too late and not worth the effort.  Trusting someone in your life is earned throughout the term of the relationship.  It’s sometimes automatically given but quickly taken away.  To really trust someone with all your heart and soul comes only after years of working on that particular relationship or even patterns that have been previously set.  To better understand this theory, the theory itself must be explained by example.

A man meets a woman and for the first time he realizes that she will be the one he is going to marry.  Yes, Love at first sight.  Who knew?  Anyway, they spend about 5 years dating and getting to know one another and they decide to get married.  This man, after being in terrible relationships, has taken the 5 years to begin to trust again.  He trusted his fiancé with anything or anybody.  She could do him no wrong.  After the marriage and a few years later, the couple falls into a rut and the woman strays.  She finds comfort in another man and cheats on her now husband.  Not knowing what to say to her husband, she continues to make him believe that she is still in love and that he is the only one.  Of course, the husband doesn’t realize anything until the relationship begins to falter.  She starts to have secret conversations away from the husband and decides not to be as intimate as she used to be.  Now begins the paranoia.

He begins to investigate and finds that she in fact has strayed and anything she says could be an outright lie.  The trust has gone down the window.  Even if she admits to the relationship, the husband no longer believes her.  She, of course, explains that nothing sexual has happened but her “Friend” was there for support in areas that her husband wasn’t.

When she says that nothing happened should the husband believe her?  Good question but the answer is will he?  Everything that she has said is a lie.  So now she can do no right.  Now he also starts to question the areas in which she told him she loved him.  How about those late nights at the office or business trips she took?  How can he believe anything she has said?  Now after she left him she realizes that she truly loves him and made and error.  The problem is that now regardless of her actions of redemption he does not trust it.  Is she here because of necessity or because she truly feels remorse and loves him?

He, on the other hand, has looked into his soul and decided to forgive her and take her back, however, will their relationship get stronger or will it fade away?  Can he ever trust her again?  That’s where the healing begins.  Sometimes a person can be placed in a situation where trust is forced upon them.  A person always has a choice in life and trusting someone is one of them but what happens when you have the choice of trusting them or going crazy and getting more paranoid?  I guess what I am basically saying is that to trust again is to let go and move on.  The persons involved need to let go and understand that you can’t change the past.  Learning to accept what has happen and make a choice to progress in any situation is not as easy as it sounds.    It is important that the problem be identified and talked about.  With the person you have lost the trust or some neutral party that will make you think, accept and move on.

Life’s experience will get you to a point in your life where mature responses are the only responses.  Conditioning is the key.  Raised in a family where it’s okay to cheat, the children will grow to be cheaters themselves.  They know that the party that has been cheated on will always forgive and accept the consequences of their decisions.  That faithful wife will be there until she can’t anymore.  That husband that has been made a cuckold will accept and move on.  Now the tables will turn when the cheating spouse decides to be faithful and the victim plans revenge.  Where has the trust gone.

In order to make things work, revenge has to be taken out of the equation.  I can come up with at least two sayings that work.

1.   “Burn me once, shame on you.  Burn me twice, shame on me!”

2.   “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

There is no way of saying its okay to enact revenge.  I guess it would be up to the individual and what his/her needs are when they do it.  To trust someone after they have burned you can be done but they must earn what they have lost with you.  Time usually heals all wounds but how long?

If a child is being raised to hear “NO!” every time he asks for something, does he asks for anything or does he just take it?  Of course, the child is filling his needs by taking it even though he has been conditioned to ask first.  The constant denial of his requests leads him to find other means of achieving his set goals.  By denying him you may feel he hasn’t earned it but what happens when he never earns his requests/rewards.  He takes it anyway and continues on.  This action is not usual for children but the fact of the matter is that conditioning can be hazardous to your children’s health.  Especially if the child has ADD/ODD.  To clarify ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder and ODD is Oppositional Defiant Disorder

A little depressed.....Again.

I have no idea why I have been feeling like this lately but I am a little depressed. It is so hard dealing with having to see other people happy and me just sitting in the wings.

I know it sounds like I am having a pity party but I guess I have been reverting lately.  I want to change all my 8mm video to DVD but I feel it's going to get me even more depressed.

They all depict a great and wonderful relationship with the family as a whole.  I have some good things happening to me in the future but I guess since I don't know how it turns out, I'm scared.

I may be 6 feet tall and a big looking brute but I scare easily.  Only with the uncertain.  I can usually tell what's going to happen to me and so forth but I can't see anything.  I can't feel anything.  It's almost as if I was numb.

Oblivious to anything and everything that is important to me.  Then, because I am not paying attention, my focus tends to go towards my ex-wife and I lose it.  I am writing this because, I guess, I have to vent.

If you get upset because you are reading this and saying "Oh my God Kenny!  Get over it already!" then you have no idea the heartbreak I am going through.  I appreciate the comfort some friends offer me but they disappear when I need them the most.

Then, they appear when they go thru another crisis for me to get them out of.  At a minimum, I support them 100%.  I want to cry.  But, how does it look for a 46 year old man crying for a woman that doesn't deserve him to begin with?

For the record, I don't miss her.  I miss what we had at one time.  A beautiful, inseparable relationship that was going to last forever.  As I have stated before, I want to know what I did.

And the way it looks now, it looks like I am never going to know.  So, How do I wish this person good luck and ask God to bless her?  I as told to forgive so that I can go and forgive myself.  For What!!!  I didn't do anything wrong except take care of her like a husband should.

FUCK!!!  The shit is that I feel I am going to use that experience and deny the person I find, if any, the same courtesy's they deserve.  I like opening doors for women.  I like paying for dinner, sending them flowers, walking with them and just listen to their stories.

I like helping them with wise advice.  I just can't get a break!  I love my kids but it is obvious the damage that their mother has done to them.  My daughter is in desperate need for a mother figure and even tho my mother tries it's just never enough.

My son doesn't trust any of his girlfriends so most, if not all, of his relationships don't last at all.  He fears they will break his heart like his mother did so he breaks their hearts first.

Well, I am going to bed.  More to come......I guess.

Morals and Values

You know, all my life I have tried to enact the morals and values my grandfather has instilled in me.  I believe it was important that I perfect these priceless gestures so that it just come out instinctively and naturally.

These are the same morals and values that I want my children to pick up as well.  They need to be great humans in a society that rarely shows its emotions on its sleeve.  I know I have done well so far and I believe that once they are on their own, they will conquer any obstacles while feeling good about themselves and where they came from.

I bring the subject up because I feel that I've been doing all of this for nothing.  All it takes is one selfish, self-centered, manipulative person to change your views or, at the least, change your heart for the worse.

Sometimes I feel that what I have learned was a waste of time and energy.  That the promises that were made were made with fingers crossed behind their backs.  It's an unfortunate circumstance but the truth is the truth.

I can only speak for myself but I am sure that there are others that can feel my grief.  Others that have been abused because they are generous and loyal.  I will, however, be representing myself.

I'm at a point in my life that I should be able to identify any/every attempt at me to make my life hell.  The question that always comes up is, What did I do to deserve this?  I always end up with the answer that God does things for a reason.

After all the lessons, teachings and disciplines regarding my morels and values, I am disappointed.  My Grandfather, may he rest in peace, is probably shaking his head right about now. 

I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is FAT.  Unfortunately it is true.  I will not, however, allow my weight to define me.  I am a great person.  I am intelligent, experienced, artistic and so forth.  

I know that any woman that sees beyond the look, will truly see what a great catch I am. This woman will also wonder why my previous relationship didn't work.  She will come to the conclusion that my ex-wife left a great family.

That alone will be karma enough but I want more.  I want full remorse.  I want to know why?  It's been a question that has been looming on the back burner and I believe it needs to be answered.

Was I not enough of a  gentleman to her?  Could I have done more to fight for the relationship?  Should I have treated her like shit to save our marriage?  I know the latter is absurd but I feel that some women need to be treated badly and if that's the case, I would still be single because I am not like that.

After thinking about it, I know I did right by her.  I also know that Karma works in mysterious ways.  I believe it so therefore it's inevitable.  I'm glad I have this blog.  It sounds different when it's written out.  I will continue being me.  God will take care of the rest for me.