Friday, September 13, 2013

"I wish that you could see" - A Poem

I wish that you could see- By Ken Bravo

I wish that you could see
The energies inside of me
Things that I have had a while
Things that make life worth wild.

I need someone to share them with
Someone to see that I'm no myth
That I have all of THIS to share
Overwhelmed with more to spare

I'm not ashamed this is me
My emotions open for all to see
The question is "Who is Brave?"
"Who'll step up and my heart engrave?"

It's been a while so I'll make my plea
For all who'd like just to see
My most covenant energy
that lies so deep inside of me.         

                                                      -Ken Bravo



Tuesday, August 27, 2013

"Stop and Frisk"

I think that the fact that I am 47 years old and have experienced New York in the 80's, it has given me a very specific opinion on the "Stop and Frisk" program.  I honestly believe that it is a tool used to prevent crimes.  Although it may seem a little prejudiced at times, it is still a very effective way to control the crime statistics to say the least.

"Stop and Frisk" implements a certain profiling technique to make it a successful option.  In my opinion, it is NOT a racial profiling but rather a "criminal" class profiling.  As we all are aware of, criminals come in all forms of shapes, sizes and colors.  For any one of them to say that they are being racially profiled to be able to stop and frisk, would be ludicrous.

Back in the 80's, there was implemented a complete drug overhaul in the LES.  Most of you remember that. Two cops became famous because of the program.  Baby-face and Rambo.  They were feared because they didn't fear.  They would pull you over and frisked you just because they felt you farted in the wind wrong and they got a bad whiff of it.

It was allowed and very effective.  Unfortunately, we can say that we are safer because of their techniques. To say whether they were right or wrong doesn't matter.  What matters is the outcome.  Now, the stop and frisk has been better regulated but to say that cops can be sued for racial discrimination?  Again, stupid to say the least.

We rely on well known and proven techniques to keep the community safe.  And when I say "WE", I mean the law abiding citizens that just happen to be surrounded by criminals.  I, personally, just want to raise my kids to the best of my ability without the fear of them being killed coming home from school one day.  If Stopping someone that looks suspicious and frisking them can help in that mission.  Well, then do what is necessary.

If I am stopped and frisked, which has happened in the past, I understand that they have a job to do.  If I have given them any reason to do it, then I must be suspicious enough for their reasoning. I may have been hanging out with the wrong crowd, or coming out of a bodega that is known for dealing.  I could be at the wrong place/wrong time.  Who knows?  Personally, I don't give them any reason to do it but if it has to be done.  So let it be done.

I am from the train of thought that, Unfortunately, if you were arrested and convicted of a crime, you lose all rights as a normal citizen.  I understand one tries to get out of the stigma of that arrest and criminality but the bottom line is that you are now a known criminal and have to keep away from the nonsense.  If you find yourself there again and get stopped and frisked, then you have nothing else to say but deal with it.

If this order to stop the "Stop and Frisk" Law isn't appealed, we are going back into time to the 80's before the clean up.  Criminals will go back to carrying weapons like they were carrying keys.  It will become the "Norm" again.  Many "Children" will die again just because someone thinks they can piss farther then the other person who just happens to insult them at that moment.

It is going to get a lot worse as the days go by.  NOT the years but rather days!!  I have never agreed with Bloomberg's policies.  At least the majority of them.  I, however, agree with this one.  It has to be like the United States and Russia was during the cold war.  We knew as they knew that we can blow the fuck out of each other so we never tempted fate and kept each other at arms length.  We needed it. and it worked.

"Stop and Frisk" works as the tool that has them thinking, "You know what? I'm keeping my piece upstairs.  I don't need to do another extra year for this piece.  I might get "Stopped" for nonsense and get busted." Right there, someone life has been saved and maybe even his own life was deterred from going to prison/dying for nothing.

My last thought is this.  If you were stopped and frisked, it wasn't your first time and probably you have a record of dealing or doing something stupid in your previous life.  If it a your first time, please understand it is actually for your safety, unless of course, you are busted for something. You are most likely to get caught so I say MAN UP! Stop doing what you shouldn't be doing.  It's not racial profiling, it is a completely LEGAL type of criminal profiling.  

Maybe you should find your waistline, find a job or continue going to school and then they wont bother you anymore.  As always, this is my personal opinion.   

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Another day

Well, it's another day and I've been thru so much lately.  Where do I begin?  In my last blog entry, I put down that even family can't be trusted.  The loyalty is more important to me than most other values.  I am still trying to believe that but there are many situations that cause me to see differently.

In recent weeks, I have been placed in situations where my small reputation has been place in jeopardy.  My reliance on someone else is usually mute unless I am very close and that person has never screwed me before.

I don't place trust on people easily.  To me, trust must be earned.  Again, I have had to change the outcome to save face.  When this is all said and done, you will know the outcome by my failure or my success. I've committed to this project and I'll be damned if I'm going to look bad on it.

Also, my ex-wife is driving from Texas to pick up our children so that they can stay with her for two weeks.  She will bring them back driving as well.  I feel that she just does whatever she wants regardless of what I'm feeling or even considering a conversation with me.

My main goal is the security and safety of my children.  By her driving over there, she makes the risks higher than flying. So, if you are reading this, I ask for your prayers to keep my children safe throughout their cross country adventure and have God bring them back safe and sound.

Also, after all the nonsense that my ex wife has done to both me and the children, I still don't trust her as far as I can throw her.  She lost all forms of trust with me and she expects me to just give it to her simply because she is their mother and it's a given. Well, News flash, uh, NO!

I hope I'm doing the right thing by my kids and even tho I will be alone for two weeks and I will miss them, I hope they have a wonderful time on this trip.

Finally, in this entry I want to say that I am still depressed.  I am a little scared that it will be a deeper depression when the kids are out and I realize that I'm alone.  Again.  This is no joke.  I feel like someone has put a serious curse on me and It's working.

It's not allowing me to meet anyone new. To hang with old friends due to scheduling conflicts or to be invited to get together's because most of the people there are in couples or have something against me. (Even tho they won't admit or approach me with the problem).

Yes, it may be a little paranoia but the bottom line is that I'm still alone.  Don't get me wrong, I truly appreciate those that I have considered friends and are still there for me.  I just don't want to interrupt their lives for me and I understand that.

I'm lonely.  I'm tired.  I'm upset at some parts of life and of how some of my, "So-called" friends, are selfish and only think of themselves without seeing the consequences or rewards of their actions.  Anyway, Have a wonderful day!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

I haven't been on in a while.  Been a little busy with some other projects but I will say something today.  Don't know what but will attempt to have a spot of conversation today.
Having lived 46 years and seen many things and situations of life, I have found that you cannot, truly, rely on family.  the people of my generation know the saying, "You don't take sides against the family", intimately.
I believe that so much.  The problem is that family in this day and age don't understand the terms "Loyalty" and "Blood".
I have always thought that I will go to back for anyone of my family members unless it is against my children in which case I will ALWAYS be on my children's side, be them right or wrong.
When they are old enough to make decisions for themselves, I will still be on their sides supporting them in whatever they decide to do.
Often times, family does disappoint you.  i have many friends today that are going through the same problem and have expressed it on social media.  Friends, I understand your pain.  Is there anything we can do about this trend that has arisen after so many years?
The only major family bickering that I can recall would be Cain and Abel. I'm sure there have been some after but the bottom line is, you don't go against the family.
Just recently, I had a family member, not only go against my 10 year old daughter, she made it about herself and she wasn't even near the problem.  Today she thinks that nothing happened but wonders why my daughter doesn't want to talk to her.
Instead of protecting my daughter and saving a potentially long life relationship from breaking apart, she addressed the issue as to say it was happening to her too.
The grown-ups of the situation that happened made a mountain out of a mole hill.  that's okay, they can react any way they want.  When it comes to my daughter, I am the one that will defend her with my life!  I expect the family to come thru for them too.  I mean, if they can't be there for my kids as well, who do my kids have?  their mom in literally 3000 miles away with her new husband.
Anyway, I figured I'd vent just a touch.  I guess what I'm basically trying to say is that I will commit murder for my children.  And that the lesson here is simple, "Do it on your own and don't leave it up to family.  they will always look out for what's the best interest for them". Thank You

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Taking Advantage

Lately, thank God, I've been having calm, good thoughts regarding everyone and how not to judge them.  But every once in a while a topic comes up that has to be discussed.  Today's topic "Low Self-esteem in young girls and how they are taken advantage of.

You know, I'm 46 years old and up to now I must say that I have seen many things in my life.  I'm sure, however, that life will bring me more things to leave me in awe and amazement.

In high school, I have known young girls that, after being a long time with a boy, breaks up and went into depression.  The self-esteem went down and they felt like it was their fault so they brushed off boys for good.

I thank God I wasn't the type they hated but nevertheless they were upset.  It became the norm.  Some girls got over it keeping their minds occupied until they feel better, while others were attacked by the last person they thought would be that way.

I know one girl who had a BFF that seemed to never go out with a boy.  Pretty and kind of tomboyish, she would never leave the side of this one girl.  The girl broke up with her boyfriend and instead of being there for her, she took advantage  of her low self-esteem and made a pass at her.

The girl did not know what had hit her and after saying "Yes" to everything, the gay girl convince the other girl that she too was gay.  It seemed right, after all the gay girl told her the exact things she needed to hear to comfort her. What could go wrong, right?

Well, suffice it to say, that didn't go to well for them.  The gay woman was so jealous of both boys and girls, she made the other girl feel even more depressed than before.

The poor girl started to ignore her and she was beaten up for it.  Obviously because the gay girl had something to prove.  Anyway, that relationship finished the day it got physical.

I want to say that my friend, the young straight girl, is married with children, living down south somewhere.  It's obvious that I will not say who it was.  I also want to point out that the guys weren't innocent in this girls life either.

Yes, she was that gorgeous and in my opinion, still is.  Anyway, the guys all tried to do a full court press on her to take advantage of how she was feeling as well.  I think that's so fucked up.  I tried being a friend to her and I was.

She was a little uncomfortable at first but then when she saw that I didn't expect anything from her we became closer friends and are now.  I actually think it was me that caused her gay friend to fight with her.  Hey, it's not my fault we became close!  It just happened that way.

Today, I was reading the status of a young friend of mine that went to school with my son.  She sounds sad and very depressed.  Se ants to kill off all the men and find a beautiful woman.  I have no problem with being gay, experimenting or anything else like that but I just want her to be careful and not something for the wrong reasons that she will regret forever.

If it turns out that she is gay then God bless, again, I hope she realizes whatever she is with a clear head and an open heart.  I'm sure God will guide her and she will feel so much better when he does.

Remember, as always, this is just my opinion.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Nothing is for free!

I was told a story one time that required an answer and tested my morals.  Let me ask the question as I was asked:  A boy, who seemed hungry and poor, stood inside of a bakery enjoying the smell of freshly baked bread.  He just stood standing next to the aisle where the bread was placed.

The owner of the bakery kept an eye on him at all times.  It was the first time that this boy had been in his store even though he had seen him in his neighborhood.  In the time it took the owner to turn and get a customer a loaf of bread, the boy grabbed another loaf and attempted to run out the store.

Since it was early afternoon, the store began to get full and the child ran into other customers causing him to get pulled by the owner.  The child was asked why did he do it?  The owner asked the question because depending on his answer, he would either call the cops or let him go.

The child simply said he was hungry.  In the world that is today, what do you do as the owner?  Do you let him go and feed him even though you condone stealing or do you call the cops and have him arrested?

Now with the situation above, I know I will get many differences of opinions.  The reason I set it up is because my question matters like the one above.

What is the use of imprisoning people if all they are going to do is come back out to the same corner, dealing the same thing, to the same people? I think the more basic question is, Is there any situation that you can't change that would always have you constantly breaking the law?

Maybe it's just me and I'm ignorant.  I see things in a different light.  I know people that work hard all their lives just to make ends meet and get screwed over constantly and others who don't do a damn thing but found a way to get over the system.  these are the same people that use their benefit cards to buy hot pork chops with tostones from the corner bodega!

Look, I have found it much better not to judge anyone.  Sometimes, tho, it has to be done!  In all fairness, and I mean in all fairness to everyone, why should I pay taxes or owe the government money to pay for your non-working, non-taking a bath, hanging out in the corner, baby-making asses!?!

Then, you are intimidating your neighbors so that people can fear you and for all you know, those same people can just come and blow you away!  Being in jail does nothing else but hone your skills as a criminal.  You can learn many a trade there without having to pay for college.

The only difference is that you don't get a degree.  Hard Knox isn't just good enough.  Also, instead of breaking the ignorance chain, they continue and pass it on to their children.  And they wonder why they end up in jail or dead or other bad things that happen to them.

I have news for you. We live in the 21st century.  Nothing is owed to you.  You may look like a prince, handsome and charming or whatever but you need to earn what is it that you get.  fucking get a job and an education and move on with your life!

I know that what some people see as right, others may see as wrong and I understand that.  I accept constructive criticism always.  If it is done properly and respectful, I can change my life.  Only if it changes for the betterment of me and my children.

I should be able to walk down the street without my daughter asking to walk another way because some funny-looking, street thugs with sagging pants are on our way home.  You know it's obvious what they are doing which begs the question, where the hell are the cops?  Is it donuts time!!!!

Parents, take a look at your children and decide for yourself if you are doing good by them.  If you have ANY doubts then you are not doing a great job.  The life your children lead are a direct reflection of you.  Be proud and raise them to be proud.  Work and earn for the family.  Not sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

Nothing is for free.



Wednesday, January 23, 2013

If you love me, share this!

In Peter Griffin's (Family Guy) Voice: You know what really grinds my gears?......
lol  Anyway, i needed to right to people to see if they feel the same way about this situation.

I've seen comments being posted on facebook that try to make you feel guilty if you don't share or like a picture or comment.  things like: "If you love Jesus, pass it on" or "If you love your family pass it or you don't love you're family.

Who the hell are you to say who I love or don't love?! I mean, I love Jesus in my way, does it mean that I have to be guilt-ed into passing on a picture of him?  What if i don't like the picture?  Does it mean I don't love him or love him less?

I understand this social network was made for keeping in touch but sometimes I feel it is used for religious agendas.  In my opinion, I try to keep it like other topics I often see in Facebook.  "If I don't push my religious beliefs on you, please don't push yours on me!"

I'm not asking for much.  It sounds to me like the golden rule.  The problem is that when i delete them, then i am wrong for breaking up a friendship.  I don't mind it wouldn't be the first time i broke up a friendship.

People, we are all human and no one is better than the other.  Even tho there are a few out there that swear their shit don't stink!  If you see a comment and you agree with it do what you want to do.  if you don't agree with it, don't do what it's telling you to do!  You have your own beliefs so that should be your guideline.

I'm angry at the practice because I know that some of you will forward it but be uncomfortable in doing it.  i don't share or forward any religious postings because i know that whether I do it or not, Jesus loves me and he takes care of me and my family.

I don't also do it because I wouldn't like it done to me so I won't do it forward.  So, if I delete your friendship, don't take it personally.  We just don't agree on things.  Positive in, Negative out.


Friday, January 18, 2013

Living in the “House of Un-trust”


Case Study #2
Living in the “House of Un-trust”


It’s Unfortunate when someone feels that the people around them have failed them in one way or another and it leads them to believe that no matter what they do to redeem themselves, it’s just too late and not worth the effort.  Trusting someone in your life is earned throughout the term of the relationship.  It’s sometimes automatically given but quickly taken away.  To really trust someone with all your heart and soul comes only after years of working on that particular relationship or even patterns that have been previously set.  To better understand this theory, the theory itself must be explained by example.
A man meets a woman and for the first time he realizes that she will be the one he is going to marry.  Yes, Love at first sight.  Who knew?  Anyway, they spend about 5 years dating and getting to know one another and they decide to get married.  This man, after being in terrible relationships, has taken the 5 years to begin to trust again.  He trusted his fiancĂ© with anything or anybody.  She could do him no wrong.  After the marriage and a few years later, the couple falls into a rut and the woman strays.  She finds comfort in another man and cheats on her now husband.  Not knowing what to say to her husband, she continues to make him believe that she is still in love and that he is the only one.  Of course, the husband doesn’t realize anything until the relationship begins to falter.  She starts to have secret conversations away from the husband and decides not to be as intimate as she used to be.  Now begins the paranoia.
He begins to investigate and finds that she in fact has strayed and anything she says could be an outright lie.  The trust has gone down the window.  Even if she admits to the relationship, the husband no longer believes her.  She, of course, explains that nothing sexual has happened but her “Friend” was there for support in areas that her husband wasn’t.
When she says that nothing happened should the husband believe her?  Good question but the answer is will he?  Everything that she has said is a lie.  So now she can do no right.  Now he also starts to question the areas in which she told him she loved him.  How about those late nights at the office or business trips she took?  How can he believe anything she has said?  Now after she left him she realizes that she truly loves him and made and error.  The problem is that now regardless of her actions of redemption he does not trust it.  Is she here because of necessity or because she truly feels remorse and loves him?
He, on the other hand, has looked into his soul and decided to forgive her and take her back, however, will their relationship get stronger or will it fade away?  Can he ever trust her again?  That’s where the healing begins.  Sometimes a person can be placed in a situation where trust is forced upon them.  A person always has a choice in life and trusting someone is one of them but what happens when you have the choice of trusting them or going crazy and getting more paranoid?  I guess what I am basically saying is that to trust again is to let go and move on.  The persons involved need to let go and understand that you can’t change the past.  Learning to accept what has happen and make a choice to progress in any situation is not as easy as it sounds.    It is important that the problem be identified and talked about.  With the person you have lost the trust or some neutral party that will make you think, accept and move on.
Life’s experience will get you to a point in your life where mature responses are the only responses.  Conditioning is the key.  Raised in a family where it’s okay to cheat, the children will grow to be cheaters themselves.  They know that the party that has been cheated on will always forgive and accept the consequences of their decisions.  That faithful wife will be there until she can’t anymore.  That husband that has been made a cuckold will accept and move on.  Now the tables will turn when the cheating spouse decides to be faithful and the victim plans revenge.  Where has the trust gone.
In order to make things work, revenge has to be taken out of the equation.  I can come up with at least two sayings that work.
1.   “Burn me once, shame on you.  Burn me twice, shame on me!”
2.   “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
There is no way of saying its okay to enact revenge.  I guess it would be up to the individual and what his/her needs are when they do it.  To trust someone after they have burned you can be done but they must earn what they have lost with you.  Time usually heals all wounds but how long?
If a child is being raised to hear “NO!” every time he asks for something, does he asks for anything or does he just take it?  Of course, the child is filling his needs by taking it even though he has been conditioned to ask first.  The constant denial of his requests leads him to find other means of achieving his set goals.  By denying him you may feel he hasn’t earned it but what happens when he never earns his requests/rewards.  He takes it anyway and continues on.  This action is not usual for children but the fact of the matter is that conditioning can be hazardous to your children’s health.  Especially if the child has ADD/ODD.  To clarify ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder and ODD is Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Thursday, January 17, 2013

A little depressed.....Again.

I have no idea why I have been feeling like this lately but I am a little depressed. It is so hard dealing with having to see other people happy and me just sitting in the wings.

I know it sounds like I am having a pity party but I guess I have been reverting lately.  I want to change all my 8mm video to DVD but I feel it's going to get me even more depressed.

They all depict a great and wonderful relationship with the family as a whole.  I have some good things happening to me in the future but I guess since I don't know how it turns out, I'm scared.

I may be 6 feet tall and a big looking brute but I scare easily.  Only with the uncertain.  I can usually tell what's going to happen to me and so forth but I can't see anything.  I can't feel anything.  It's almost as if I was numb.

Oblivious to anything and everything that is important to me.  Then, because I am not paying attention, my focus tends to go towards my ex-wife and I lose it.  I am writing this because, I guess, I have to vent.

If you get upset because you are reading this and saying "Oh my God Kenny!  Get over it already!" then you have no idea the heartbreak I am going through.  I appreciate the comfort some friends offer me but they disappear when I need them the most.

Then, they appear when they go thru another crisis for me to get them out of.  At a minimum, I support them 100%.  I want to cry.  But, how does it look for a 46 year old man crying for a woman that doesn't deserve him to begin with?

For the record, I don't miss her.  I miss what we had at one time.  A beautiful, inseparable relationship that was going to last forever.  As I have stated before, I want to know what I did.

And the way it looks now, it looks like I am never going to know.  So, How do I wish this person good luck and ask God to bless her?  I as told to forgive so that I can go and forgive myself.  For What!!!  I didn't do anything wrong except take care of her like a husband should.

FUCK!!!  The shit is that I feel I am going to use that experience and deny the person I find, if any, the same courtesy's they deserve.  I like opening doors for women.  I like paying for dinner, sending them flowers, walking with them and just listen to their stories.

I like helping them with wise advice.  I just can't get a break!  I love my kids but it is obvious the damage that their mother has done to them.  My daughter is in desperate need for a mother figure and even tho my mother tries it's just never enough.

My son doesn't trust any of his girlfriends so most, if not all, of his relationships don't last at all.  He fears they will break his heart like his mother did so he breaks their hearts first.

Well, I am going to bed.  More to come......I guess.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Morals and Values

You know, all my life I have tried to enact the morals and values my grandfather has instilled in me.  I believe it was important that I perfect these priceless gestures so that it just come out instinctively and naturally.

These are the same morals and values that I want my children to pick up as well.  They need to be great humans in a society that rarely shows its emotions on its sleeve.  I know I have done well so far and I believe that once they are on their own, they will conquer any obstacles while feeling good about themselves and where they came from.

I bring the subject up because I feel that I've been doing all of this for nothing.  All it takes is one selfish, self-centered, manipulative person to change your views or, at the least, change your heart for the worse.

Sometimes I feel that what I have learned was a waste of time and energy.  That the promises that were made were made with fingers crossed behind their backs.  It's an unfortunate circumstance but the truth is the truth.

I can only speak for myself but I am sure that there are others that can feel my grief.  Others that have been abused because they are generous and loyal.  I will, however, be representing myself.

I'm at a point in my life that I should be able to identify any/every attempt at me to make my life hell.  The question that always comes up is, What did I do to deserve this?  I always end up with the answer that God does things for a reason.

After all the lessons, teachings and disciplines regarding my morels and values, I am disappointed.  My Grandfather, may he rest in peace, is probably shaking his head right about now. 

I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is FAT.  Unfortunately it is true.  I will not, however, allow my weight to define me.  I am a great person.  I am intelligent, experienced, artistic and so forth.  

I know that any woman that sees beyond the look, will truly see what a great catch I am. This woman will also wonder why my previous relationship didn't work.  She will come to the conclusion that my ex-wife left a great family.

That alone will be karma enough but I want more.  I want full remorse.  I want to know why?  It's been a question that has been looming on the back burner and I believe it needs to be answered.

Was I not enough of a  gentleman to her?  Could I have done more to fight for the relationship?  Should I have treated her like shit to save our marriage?  I know the latter is absurd but I feel that some women need to be treated badly and if that's the case, I would still be single because I am not like that.

After thinking about it, I know I did right by her.  I also know that Karma works in mysterious ways.  I believe it so therefore it's inevitable.  I'm glad I have this blog.  It sounds different when it's written out.  I will continue being me.  God will take care of the rest for me.