I've got to be honest with you. I've been thinking a lot about the past and my present situation. It's very difficult not to go a day without thinking of that one person. Anyway, How I've been feeling and how I've been thinking are two separate things. I've been feeling like something major is coming my way and it's a good thing.
Honestly, whatever good that comes to me will be a blessing. I think I have earned anything good. It's just trying to get the negative energy out of my life and the positive energy in.
The problem is that whenever I'm doing well, something happens to rewind my situation. How does one remove 16 years of a relationship from their minds? That's a good question. I've just realize that I will be alone for Christmas. I'm actually looking forward to it.
It will give me another reason to set my goals up and follow through next year. I haven't reached my preset goals yet but I will make it even if it kills me! I'm telling you that I have woken up the other day with the highest of praises for my God the Father!!!
I love him so and HE will guide me through and fight this battle that I think I have been losing. At least, emotionally. I'm physically drained but life goes on.
I'm finding that everyone is taken on there own little cliques and because I was part of my own clique, when it broke up I wasn't allowed to enter others. I understand that I'm just an acquaintance to most people. I don't get offended. Most people were just acquaintances to me too! No worries though, I'll be part of some clique again some day, at least for now I have my children and God.
It sucks to be loved and appreciated then it taken away. It should be a decision made by two but life wouldn't allow that. I don't want to go there. For those reading this, I want to thank you in taking a minute to read how I am and I want to wish you a glorious Christmas and a wonderful New Year!
BTW: It's NOT a pity party, just a way to vent! Love ya!!!
iTS ALL GOOD. yOUR TIME WILL COME AND YOU WILL BE VERY HAPPY AGAIN WITH YOUR KIDS. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AS WELL.
ReplyDeleteMARIA N FAMILIA
So what you're alone for the holidays. We've all been there. Use it to your advantage. It's better to be alone than in bad company. Be positive, attract positive energy.
ReplyDeletePlan better for next year. Get back on that horse, look ahead and put yourself out there. And I hope you're not smoking again. No woman likes a smoker.
Hope to see you next spring/summer at some get together with our friends/aquaintances. :-)
Merry Christmas!