Yeah Right!!!

Today's blog was going to be an apology for using this blog as a tool to vent my feelings but then I realized that its exactly what I needed.  It's my blog and my feelings.  LOL    I have many friends out there that are obviously looking out for me.  I know that sometimes I hit on a subject that comes close to home with many of those friends.

The last subject was about me blaming my ex's new boyfriend for his part in the destruction of our relationship.  I totally understand all the opinions commented but to say that I shouldn't blame him at all is just plain ignorant.  Like I said before, it takes two to tango and yes, my ex has a lot to do with it but a REAL man wouldn't continue to work when he finds out that the woman is married.

Don't get me wrong please, I know there are women out there that do the same thing but it's expected from a man to break the vows, not the woman.  I think that my thinking is very old fashioned and I'm very proud to say that I was raised by my grandfather.  A person who was faithful to my grandmother from day one.  I loved him and I miss him.  I also think that he would have slapped the daylights out of me for believing the nonsense told to me.

I'm getting over my problem little by little and I definately appreciate all the support my friends have given me.  I just don't want to hear that it's okay to talk to a married woman.  It's not.  For those that enjoy having relationships with married people, what's the matter?  You can't get someone single?  You have to break up something that is potentially great?  What does that say about your self esteem?

Again Fuck'em both.  They, at this point, deserve each other.  Just remember, "God don't like ugly!" and "Karma is a motherfucker!"  LOL  One more thing, please don't respond to this if you're going to defend the actions of the lover.  It just makes you sound just as ignorant as they are.  Remember, It's MY opinion.  Not a law!   LOL

SMH

I've been going through some very hard times when it comes to matters of the heart.  I've been hating so much that it hurts and it affects my friendships.  I know I'm not sopposed to hate but dang, give me a break!  I see other people playing their partners and they actuaslly believe its okay.

I try to go by the golden rule.  I would NEVER go out with a married woman because it hurt so much when it was done to me.  I have to look at the whole relationship not just the ass I will probably just hit and quit.  I know I'm no prize but I know what I have to offer and I think its enough.

How women can be sooo flirtacious and do this to thier husbands is beyond me.  I guess my morals and values are outdated.  Isn't that good tho?  I thank my grandfather for teaching me how to be a man.  Respect myself and others will respect you.  I just thought I would say to everybody, "Be good to yourselves and keep your obligations".  I love you guys!!!!

Age Difference?

The question/topic of today is should there be an age limit on love?  I was always told that the women I should try to date should be no younger than half my age plus 7.  That would make her 29 and above.  What happens tho, if you meet someone that is over 21 but not in the "appropriate" age range?  I mean, is it considered taboo?

I know women who marryed older men and they are still in love to this day.  I assume they enjoy fatherly relationships.  I know some women who are considered cougars, and enjoy little boy toys.  How stella got her groove back.  I usually don't care what others think of me but for some reason this is bothering me.  I know someone who is absolutely beautiful.  I know the family for years.  Great family!  Salt of the earth people. 

I'm afraid to even ask her out to lunch because I'm close friends with the family and I don't want to ruin our relationship.  However, I get some vibe.  Maybe it's because I've been alone for a while now or maybe I'm backed up?  Who knows?  I usually think how would I react if an older guy kicked it to my daughter?  Especially if I knew him.  I guess that's why I haven't attempted anything.

Well guys, I guess I answered my own question in todays topic!!!  What do you think?

Dreams

I've always said that dreams are a culmination of your daily routine plus what your subconcious sees.  Your mind places it all together in a way that is clear to only you.  I mean, there are many subliminial pictures all around you in this wonderful world and your mind picks it up, downloads it and stores it for use when it is needed.  Then plays it back when your body is at rest.  I believe that a dream is your mind placing all of the information together to foretell what you should look out for or what is happening in your life.  Take the warnings seriously!

It is said that the human being uses only 3-5% of thier brains.  Can you imagine the possibilities if we can utilize the rest?  Anyway, back to dreams, I had a very good nights sleep.  It is very rare that I have these so I must be feeling better.  For those that are in touch with the energies of this world, I would like to ask if you know what certain things mean.

I dreamt of accidents, bridges, going back to school, getting lost in Brooklyn, being on a game show and most of all floods.  I was told that when you see water in your dream you have to take notice of its status.  If the water is clear, whatever is happening in your life will clear up.  If the water is rough, you obviously have some rough times ahead.  Murky water, dirty water, I mean, take the metaphor seriously. 

Many of us have Dejavu.  A time when you feel like you have been there before or are repeating a life's moment.  I believe that they are the subconcious working and replaying something you already foretold in a dream.  Yes, we are that powerful.  To be connected to the energies of the universe is a powerful thing.  If you are, please use them for good!  LOL

I feel connected somehow but have not acknowledged them completely.  Could you imagine when I do?
Dreams, huh?  lol

Honesty

Today I would like to talk about honesty.  I've always tried to run my life by the golden rule.  "Treat other's as you would want to be treated."  That covers all the commandments without having to memorize them.  Think about it, you don't want anyone stealing from you so you don't steal. Kill, covet etc......  It works for mostly all.  This is why I do not lie.  Besides, I would have to have a great memory and I'm to old to remember what I was doing last night!  LOL I've tried to be honest with everybody and find that I know I can't trust men, but why can't I trust women?

I don't want to generalize the gender because there are definately more of untrusting men that there are women.  I guess I'm dissappointed to find out that woman can be so misleading.  I have a few friends, women, that I talk to on occasion and it seems like I need level 5 security clearance to talk to them and get any information out of them.  I can have a great conversation one day and expect to continue with the conversation but they dissappear for a few days after that.  When we talk again, it feels like nothing happened.

I am legitimately concerned with my friends and thier problems.  I don't think that they are being honest with me tho.  I may even feel like I'm being led on.  I don't know, it's just me.  I guess what I'm really saying is that, if you feel a certain way about something or you're getting different vibes or whatever.  Don't be afraid to say what you have to say.  "The truth shall set you free!"  Sometimes, when you say what you feel, the circumstances come out better for you!  Like the lotto!  "Hey, you never know!"

ghetto Mama's!

Today I was on the bus and was reminded of how ignorant some woman can be.  I can understand the age issue, like if you were 15/16 when you have your first child but Damn, you have to have some sense.  For instance, if you're in the hospital waiting your turn for your appointment and you have your children with you.  Watch 'em!  The hospital is not a park and you need to control your kids.

I was watching Sinbad one day and I believe he was the first to say it.  "Beat your kids!"  LOL....all joking aside, I know that the law allows you to spank your children.  Don't let the threat of ACS frightened you.  I understand but its time to take action against those kids that want to run your life.

Oh, before I forget, if the pacifier falls on the floor, for God's sake, please don't put it in your mouth then put it in your baby's mouth!  That's disgusting and ignorant!  Learn how to take care of yourself and your kids!
While you're in the street, please wear clothes that fit, not something 4 sizes to small. Chichos all over the place!!!

Finally, we don't want to hear your vulgar mouths.  If you don't have anything intelligent to say, don't say nothing at all!

Thank you!!!

Oh oh. This subject is Taboo! (Religion) Read at your own risk!

I was raised catholic.  Even though I don't agree with most of their practices I would like to think that I've been good and am a good catholic Christian.  To be a Christian, you have to follow the beliefs of Christ.  Catholicism does in fact do that and more.  The love that Jesus gives us on a daily basis cannot be denied.

I believe tho, that the problem stems from the plaster saints placed all around the catholic church.  There was one church that didn't do too much of that and I enjoyed services there because I didn't want to feel like a hipocrit.  I was having a great discussion with my Jehovah Witness friend and we actually enjoy talking about things.  She is one of the few that can have a conversation without getting upset and keeping an open mind.

She said that the commandment clearly state "Thou shalt not honor any other God before me".  And here we are, kissing the feet of a plaster saint in the middle of Gods house.  I attempted to justify it by saying that we, the catholics, use the saints as visual aids.  So that when we pray we can focus on the prayer and who we are dedicating it to.  But I have to admit, there are parishoners who believe the plaster itself has the power to heal, or to find or help.  Whatever the reason, they are placing all their energies on them.

The JW believe that Jesus was crucified on the cross but not in the traditional way.  The cross was shaped like an "X" not a "T".  What bothered me about that wasn't the shape but rather why the argument?  I mean, isn't the point that they crucified him and he died for our sins?  How he died shouldn't be questioned, the focus should be on why he died and the blessings he has given us in doing so.

Finally, the JW believe that Jesus was a dark man with copper bottomed feet and curly hair.  He was the ultimate man.  There are many pictures in the catholic church of Jesus being a white man.  Rumor has it tho that Michelangelo needed a model for a portrait of Jesus and he went and found a GAY white man that fit his description. in jail!.  So, apparently the pics of jesus are really a white, gay criminal.

I was always told never to discuss Politics or religion.  I always understood but enjoyed a good debate here and there anyway.  I believe we must always refreshen your mind to keep it on its toes.  I'm the avid believer that there is an Awesome God taking care of us and if we treat ourselves well and never forget him or stop letting him know, we will have the most awesomes adventure in this world we call earth.  He wants us to love and be happy.   So if you guys don't mind, I wish to end this posting on a prayer.

"Almighty Father, Heavenly God.  He that touches our lives with love and wonder.  I love you.  You have shown me mercy when I have needed it.  You have defended me when it was required and you have picked me up and walked me through the storm.  My life, my soul, my heart, they are yours.  Lord Father, I ask that you bless me with a long and healthy life but when it is time for you to call my name to serve you, I ask that you take me quickly.  I ask that you bless my children and give them long, healthy lives.  Inspire your children of the world to look out for false prophets.  Remind them that only you know when and how.  Remove those false prophets and let them be judged almighty father.  Bless my family and my special friends.  Keep them safe and sound.  I ask you Almighty Father in his name AMEN!!!!"""

God Bless you all!

Osama-Obama & 911

This is a very touchy subject to talk about.  I can speak about it from the view of someone who lost a very dear family member and misses her so much.  My baby sister was on the 89th floor of the first tower hit.  I hope and pray to God that she went quickly.  It was a long road to recovery when we lost her.  When they finally found her, just her torso was found.  We had a ceremony with a closed casket. Enough said.

When the news came that Osama had been killed, it was a bittersweet moment.  A load fell off my shoulders and a sigh of relief was released.  The more I thought about it, the more happier and excited I was.  FINALLY! The wicked witch is dead!!!  In fact, that's what I posted on facebook.  I called someone, who I thought was a friend, to offer him some new business for his club.  Since he's from THAT region, I thought I would joke with him a bit.  I assumed he would be happy that devil is dead but you know what they say about ass u me ing.  lol. 

Anyway, I asked him if he was sad about the death.  He replied for me not to go there.  I chuckled a little and apologised, I also stated to forgive me, I was just to happy to hear the news.  He said, and I quote, "With all due respect, I'm going to hang up the phone now."  And hung up!  I know I didn't do anything wrong because we've joked like that before.  Maybe, I should call homeland security on his ass?  Just kidding.  He's a nice guy, I guess this affected him differently than me.

I believe that I am entitled to see proof of his death.  To simply say that he was killed under orders of the president may be a ruse to cover up that they have him in Guantanimo Bay and are extracting information any way they possibly can.  If they are doing that, I would like to watch!!!  I understand why burying him at sea was important but it still doesn't give me closure.  They didn't have to respect the body by treating it religiously, did they do that for my sister or were they cowards and attacked from they skies?

I really have no set opinion on our president.  I just find it too coincidental that at the time where his numbers are at there lowest, he finds and kills Osama.  Who's to say that he didn't have him already and was waiting for the right time to announce his death.  Surprisingly, his numbers skyrocketed right after that huh?  Hmmm.....

I don't think that I'm asking for much here.  I would like my sister to be in peace and know that we are in peace too.  It is comforting to assume he is dead but with this country's record, who knows.  I'm just saying.  The next post should be a happier one!

A little bit of Narcism

For those that know me, I have been going through a very tough time.  In fact, as I have been reminded by my good friend, it has been going on for a pretty good while now.  At one point in my life I have convinced myself that I can't live without my wife by my side.  I guess its because we worked as one unit all the time and I missed her so much.

I also went through a time where I blamed myself for her actions and that put me in a bad place in my life.  Major depression incurred and I went into seclusion.  I was reminded by my dear friend that I should take responsibility for my part in the failure of my marriage.  In fact, I was told that it was my fault as well.  Although I didn't see the fault, I accepted it as a part of the situation and began to move on.

Right now, I am at a totally different place.  Where I once felt like the loser, I realize that she is the one that loses.  I was a GREAT husband , father and best friend.  I spoiled her to the point of displacement.  She never had a need for anything and when things went wrong, at least in her eyes, the first time, I accepted her back. 

I was made to feel like I was ugly, had a bad personality and that it was wrong to be a BIG man.  All the while I accepted her for ALL her flaws because I thought they were cute.  She gained weight and it was fine.  She would lose her job and it was fine.  All these bad things kept happening to her and in the end I would get her out of them because it was my job as her husband.

I want to say that although I am a better person for my actions, I am still, and have always been, a catch!  I know I'm good looking, funny and responsible.  I am the best dad I can be and I respect myself and others at all times.  I may be a little bit difficult at times but in the end my heart gives in and I turn out to be a teddy bear.  I can dance, play the piano and have been known to write a poem or two.  In fact, I am a published poet!  (Editors choice Award 1998).  I am an artist, (nude sketching is my specialty) and can make a woman float with my massages.  I am happy to give pleasure to others before myself and I do it with a smile.

I am writing all this for two reasons. 1. To make me feel better about myself. (I guess to continue convincing myself that I am good) 2. To point out my qualities and to say that ANY woman would be proud to have me as a friend/partner.  The benefits are endless with me as a friend.  One more thing I forgot.  I love to hear and advise.  I've become pretty good at it.

Okay, now to get the ribbings from my closest friends who can rib me!!!  I'm ready!  Thanks for listening!

Celebrity Apprentice

After watching 3/4 of a season I am legitimately happy that John Rich won.  I thoroughly enjoyed Marley's game.  She is a very talented Actress with a big heart but overall John Rich busted it out.  Marley was trying to make it about charity's but in the end, if you think about it, her charity still wasn't as big as St. Jude's.

She went on to say that if she wins she can do more for children in Africa and their hearing situations, but I believe that for every child that gets to hear from Marley's charity, St. Judes can save a life here in the United States.  i am not playing down the charity abroad, I just feel that charity should always begin at home and the measure of a life compared to hearing is outweighed tremendously.

If I had a choice of which charity to support with my millions, it would be the one that saves LIVES, not just giving the gift of hearing.  I appreciate all that she has done and I believe that there are no losers in this game because between the both of them, they raised over $2,000,000.00 for thier charities.  John Rich, well done and congratulations.  Marley Matlin, well done and hands up in praise for a job well done!

Muppets

Growing up, one of the few enjoyments I had in my life were the muppets.  Since they were on during primetime, I had to plead and beg to stay up one hour later to see them.  I was so happy when they moved to 7:30 pm and I can watch them every day.  My favorite, believe it or not, is not Ralph the Pianist but rather Animal the drummer.  He and I have a very similiar taste in women.  We love all women!!!  

The two old men had me rolling when I was a little older and I believe that I learn most of my sarcasm and ability to joke on people from them.  I learned tolerance from Kermits relationship with Ms. Piggy which actually helped me tolerate most of my ex-wife's nonsense.  I grew interest in music from Ralph on the piano and my patriotism came from Sam the "Eagle".  I learned how to "hustle" from Rizzo the rat and I finally learned not to give a shit form "Pepe the Prawn".  Funny stuff.

My most favorite scene in sesame street would have to be the one where Grover is teaching the children "Near and Far".  I still crack up when I see that clip.  I had to download it for my archives.  (Still have a smile on my face from just thinking about it)  It's hard to believe that all these years have passed by and nothing new has come from the muppets.  I'm actually glad that they stayed the way they are and haven't been computer animated or "Improved" to look worse.  I'm proud to show my daughter these scenes because they mean a lot to me and I know she appreciates all that they have to teach.

I would like to know, who was your favorite muppet and why?

Agree to disagree

I like to think of myself as an open-minded, non-judgemental person.  (at least most of the time)  There are times however, that require an opinion or a statement regardless of the responses from other people.  I have a tendency to try to accept people and their lifestyles as opposed to tolerating them.  I would rather teach my children  acceptance instead of tolerance because with tolerance, the baseline hate is still there.  It would be like being a racist and having to serve an African-American coffee in a southern diner with a smile on my face.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a racist, I hate Everyone equally!   LOL 

All jokes aside, I don't like the hood.  You know, that person that can only be described with a derogitory term of each race. Those ignorant people who believe this wonderful world owes them something just because they were born into it.  I must say that fashion and drugdealing have a major influence into this life, as well as local economy but overall the way you are raised ultimately paves the way for your life. 

I'm happy my father left when I was young.  I couldn't see myself an alcoholic, non working, hanging out in front of bodegas owing child support hundreds of thousands of dollars.  I promised that I would do the opposite of my father and I think I'm better for it.  My grandfather, may he rest in peace, is sooo proud that he raised a responsible, educated young man who believes that family will ALWAYS come first. 

The other day I was practically called a Homophobe because I have a very specific opinion on a gay issue.  I can go on and on about how I have friends that are gay and of how I love them so much.  Without them, I would be a totally different person.  That, however, would defeat the purpose.  It would be like saying that I have black friends just to prove that I am not a racist.  I just believe that there is a time and place for everything.

To clarify the situation, I would like to say that I don't think santified places should be used for sacreligious venues.  For instance, The Limelight used to be a church but was changed to a club.  Thousands celebrated marriages, communions, confessions and even mourned dearly departed in the place and now people are dancing and using drugs?  No, I don't think so.  How about disney world promoting a week long gay event at Hurricane Harbor?  No disrespect to the gay community but Disney, to me anyway, is a place of fantasy and innocence.  I would not patronize Disney if I would spend all my money on a week trip for me and my children to find that I'm surrounded by flambourancy.  Personally, I find it amusing, however its just not cool.  I've learned to accept thier lifestyle and maybe even appreciate it but I wouldn't want my children confused about it and if I can avoid it I will.  I would even go on and say that about 80% of the gay community respect all others as they would want to be respected.  I appreciate that so much.  Treated as equals is what they want.  There is, however that 20% that feel being gay is the ultimate way of life and abuse of their stature with others.  They are just right ignorant.

I would rather post this opinion here on my blog because I'm afraid someone's feelings are going to get hurt or they are going to say something real stupid and trigger and ignorant response from me in front of my 1000's of friends on facebook.  I just want to be able to think or say what I want and if you have a problem with it, agree to disagree or just keep your mouth shut.  lol........Thanks for listening, by the way, you can always chime in whenever you want.  I love to have comments and discussions!!!!

Rapture?

Today I woke up at 12:21 in the afternoon.  It's May 21, 2011.  The RAPTURE is to occur at sundow in the middle ease which would be 1pm EST.  it's now 6 minutes to 1pm.  Probably, by the time I finish this posting, it will be after.  Anyway, I was asked in therapy how much of belief was I putting into "The end of the world"  I said 10% and he said that's still too much.

I read my bible and I think that I know it very well.  I can go on and on about that this isn't going to happen but I just don't understand why am I concerned?  I guess being raised an avid Christian I should know better.  I mean, "False Prophets in sheeps clothing.  "No man will know the end, only God the Father"  "Will come like a thief in the night".

I do think that I have to come to acceptance.  We all will die sooner or later, hopefully later, and it must become part of my life.  I am grateful that God almighty has blessed me many times in my life.  I have beautiful, healthy children.  I have the means to support them and myself as well as a place to live in comfortably.  I had a wife, who was a loving mother, wife and best friend.  Circumstances required her to lose her mind.  At least those are the excuses she is using.  I have to have her die in my mind so that I can mourn properly. 

It's very difficult when someone is accustomed to taking care of each other then that service is taken away from cowardness.  Anyway, that's another blog topic.  Look!  It's 1:06 pm.  It's passed sundown in the middle east.  Oh well, another Prophet looking dum.  God bless us all!!!!!

Revenge

Why is bad to seek revenge on an ex that did you wrong?  Where does it say you HAVE to forgive to be happy?  I've found that wishing bad stuff on an ex allows me to express pent up feelings and it makes me even more happier if she is going through a hard time.  I know, I know if I keep these hard feelings I would never be happy.  I think that its completely healthy to wish negative thoughts on the person who did you wrong to begin with.  Maybe, later on, I will be able to forgive but I think the length of time is based on the damage caused by the ex.  I have an opinion and I want all that read trhis to understand that I respect all opinions so please respect mine.  You have every right to counter and we can agree to disagree.